Everyone has gone through some type of abuse whether it’s physically or mentally. I wanted to talk about this topic because it is something I know people have or are going through. I want to share my experience with you all to help everyone to understand what this does to a person and what to do in order to get yourself better.
I’d like to explain what these words mean, physically abuse is someone hurting you and leaving you scars and bruises on your body. Sometimes it can be a serious case where people would have to get medical attention. Mental abuse is when someone uses words that will emotionally hurt you and make you feel very low in yourself. In my opinion mental abuse is way worse than physical abuse because at least some scars will heal where as words never do.
In my past I was both physically and mentally abused by my ex partner and his parents, the worst part for me is that I never knew I was being abused until I explained my day to my parents as if it was a normal conversation, only for them to say that I am in a toxic relationship with abusive people. These types of things are hard for anyone especially at a young age, it is more hard for anyone to try to get out of that situation and then trying to heal once you finally found the courage to do so.
When I finally left it was the most amazing and bravest thing I have done and sadly took me months to admit it to myself, thankfully I had amazing support from those that love me and got myself into proper support with a counselor and I have made excellent progress over the last two years which made me happy and though there are hard days I still manage to be happy and positive and promised myself to never be in that situation again.
I had gone to an event which I found both fun and joyful at the beginning until sadly something happened. A person I know had said hurtful things to me. So hurtful that I felt I was shrinking smaller and smaller and the room was closing in. Saying things that made me think were so true and I had believed them and truthfully I had never thought this person would make me feel like nothing and this broke my heart.
I am currently not on speaking terms with this person because I have to focus on myself first as I am the priority. I am going to be very truthful to you all as you may have thought the same when in these situations, blaming yourself, believing what that person said is true maybe even thinking you deserve this abuse. But truthfully, you don’t!
No one ever deserves any type of abuse, no one deserves to be powerless and be turned into nothing as if you don’t matter. Well, you do matter. We all matter and the reason why I am hurting so much is not fully because of the words this person has said to me but me allowing this person to hurt me and believing what they had said to me was true. That is what I am most angry and sad about.
I had promised to never let anyone make me powerless and then I did. I hope that one day I, and everyone, will find the courage to stand up to people who make us feel low in ourselves and remember that when these situations happen try to get support from a professional or family member. Even writing how you feel down because when I write about how I felt about what happened on that day I can feel the weight slowly lifting off my shoulders but these things take time to heal.